is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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