I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize