Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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