pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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