If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
