does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
