I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
