i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well I just put wine in my tea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
