How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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