she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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