You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
