I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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