oh god the rape fog is back!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
