Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
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we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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