My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
