Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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