Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize