I wish my penis had an off switch
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
