The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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