the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
