I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
