Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
