i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
