I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
