Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona

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  (310): first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona http://tfl.nu/f4h4
  Replies (16) Good night (897) Bad night (2181)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.

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  (713): Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake. http://tfl.nu/b27h
  Replies (19) Good night (701) Bad night (5212)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

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  (704): Her vagina smelled like bad decisions http://tfl.nu/m5j1
  Replies (33) Good night (990) Bad night (7937)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.

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  (302): He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter. http://tfl.nu/7onh
  Replies (22) Good night (5703) Bad night (957)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...

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  (908): Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty... http://tfl.nu/7ob9
  Replies (13) Good night (2789) Bad night (1267)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join

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  (772): No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join http://tfl.nu/0bbm
  Replies (2) Good night (2961) Bad night (1074)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.

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  (202): After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/vjgb
  Replies (9) Good night (2697) Bad night (1022)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.

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  (407): I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin. http://tfl.nu/suvt
  Replies (9) Good night (1836) Bad night (904)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.

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  (518): Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird. http://tfl.nu/4vio
  Replies (1) Good night (1310) Bad night (437)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

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  (516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc
  Replies (16) Good night (2987) Bad night (596)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.

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  (240): I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator. http://tfl.nu/kcd0
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (325)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're the common denominator of my blackouts.

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  (202): You're the common denominator of my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/n8nz
  Replies (4) Good night (681) Bad night (277)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it

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  (604): I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it http://tfl.nu/ucqf
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (299)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.

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  (817): Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse. http://tfl.nu/j30i
  Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (333)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Literally.

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  (312): I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth. (312): Literally. http://tfl.nu/rigg
  Replies (4) Good night (757) Bad night (312)

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