you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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