Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could

  (216): View more from Ohio

  did she say where she was going

  (740): View more from Ohio

  apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars

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  (740): so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could (216): did she say where she was going (740): apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars http://tfl.nu/v42j
  Replies (45) Good night (3769) Bad night (737)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.

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  (910): I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome. http://tfl.nu/9kjh
  Replies (27) Good night (9913) Bad night (805)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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  (724): You kept referring to your penis as "this guy." http://tfl.nu/osjv
  Replies (18) Good night (5185) Bad night (1308)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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  (416): he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup http://tfl.nu/u0xy
  Replies (20) Good night (1522) Bad night (5322)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during

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  (541): I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during http://tfl.nu/1ah0
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (3104)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

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  (954): I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter. http://tfl.nu/57tz
  Replies (10) Good night (1358) Bad night (3626)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.

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  (952): Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me. http://tfl.nu/t30r
  Replies (10) Good night (1870) Bad night (901)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.

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  (519): Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen. http://tfl.nu/rpyn
  Replies (9) Good night (2327) Bad night (817)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..

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  (779): We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time.. http://tfl.nu/hdfa
  Replies (2) Good night (2201) Bad night (886)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.

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  (207): Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer. http://tfl.nu/w95z
  Replies (3) Good night (2780) Bad night (1288)
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  (648): View more from

  Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.

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  (648): Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me. http://tfl.nu/1al0
  Replies (5) Good night (1268) Bad night (562)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.

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  (307): he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back. http://tfl.nu/n0f2
  Replies (21) Good night (595) Bad night (1966)
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  (714): View more from California

  How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?

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  (714): How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot? http://tfl.nu/pt30
  Replies (2) Good night (922) Bad night (321)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  PS my house is a mess.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  pps I have a rash on my face.

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  (403): PS my house is a mess. (403): pps I have a rash on my face. http://tfl.nu/t8vc
  Replies (3) Good night (276) Bad night (749)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.

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  (306): I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him. http://tfl.nu/3qpq
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (197)

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