I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
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wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.