Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  How was dinner with ur grandparents?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

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  (607): How was dinner with ur grandparents? (1-607) I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana." http://tfl.nu/9nup
  Replies (18) Good night (1604) Bad night (6739)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.

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  (908): Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat. http://tfl.nu/zq2c
  Replies (22) Good night (1514) Bad night (3668)
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  (707): View more from California

  I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

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  (707): I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/hlsl
  Replies (11) Good night (4698) Bad night (1061)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo

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  (303): Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo http://tfl.nu/0kme
  Replies (10) Good night (3490) Bad night (1466)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."

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  (254): Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen." http://tfl.nu/2yxx
  Replies (11) Good night (4241) Bad night (1327)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse

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  (256): All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse http://tfl.nu/7lt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (821)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.

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  (+44): made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012. http://tfl.nu/7rf8
  Replies (8) Good night (2145) Bad night (673)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.

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  (315): The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me. http://tfl.nu/qtoi
  Replies (6) Good night (1502) Bad night (525)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  21st birthday = success

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  (781): you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though (1-781): 21st birthday = success http://tfl.nu/y3qn
  Replies (8) Good night (1688) Bad night (640)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...

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  (303): I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone... http://tfl.nu/cdei
  Replies (3) Good night (1603) Bad night (547)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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  (301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp
  Replies (11) Good night (1217) Bad night (551)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.

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  (410): He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever." (410): I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much. http://tfl.nu/3c5w
  Replies (4) Good night (1659) Bad night (363)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.

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  (248): He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day. http://tfl.nu/1wxb
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (282)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.

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  (630): You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional. http://tfl.nu/yewn
  Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (391)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk

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  (603): Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/gis5
  Replies (4) Good night (360) Bad night (212)

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