I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
worst night to have a conscience
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize