I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
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Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.