You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
