dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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