sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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