NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
