Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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