Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
