yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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