As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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