dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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