if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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