Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
