I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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