don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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