and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
