Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
