I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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