i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
