I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
