eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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