he puts the penis in happiness.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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