Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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