sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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