I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
