i always forget guys have bellybuttons
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
