Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
