Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
