you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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