Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think my fart just growled at me.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sorry about my life...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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