i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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