finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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