Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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