how hairy? two words: wookie tits
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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