I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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