I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
