I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
