speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
